Tuesday, May 26th I celebrated my first wedding anniversary with my husband. I put on my gown, he wore his tux, we ordered Indian food and drank Dom Perignon. We exchanged our gifts, and spent the night reminiscing and dancing in our kitchen like we were back at our reception. I felt so overwhelmed with love for my husband, even more so than the day we got married. I looked into his eyes, imagined what our children will look like, what we’ll be like us parents. Then I came back to reality. I’m a black woman, he’s a bi-racial man, and we will have black children. A black son perhaps. The weight and heaviness of that realization engulfed me like something I can’t explain. But if you’re a POC you get it. Just one day earlier on Memorial Day, Amy Cooper unleashed her white privilege on a black male birdwatcher in Central Park. And over in Minneapolis, George Floyd was murdered by another person wielding their white privilege. Celebrations are always cut short for black and brown people. You know why? Because this country never ceases to remind us that we’re still not really valued here.
Wednesday hit me hard. As it usually does when these types of things happen. And they always happen, but sometimes it gets caught on film, and we really get a front seat to it. I made the conscious decision to post my grievances on Instagram, because I was seeing that only POCs (people of color) were posting about the weeks events. There were a lot of Memorial Day celebrations, yard photos, nature walks, cocktails being had, people were still celebrating. I thought to myself
Maybe my white friends don’t know what’s happened. if they aren’t following pocs who’re posting about things, or other white people who care, they can remain oblivious. they don’t have to be confronted with the knowing.
I’m in an interesting position in my life. See, I went to a predominantly white high school. And when I say predominately white, I mean before my senior year there were only 3 black people in the entire school. I was fortunate in my experience. I had a lot of friends, I was a cheerleader, for lack of better words I guess I’d say I was popular. Slurs were never hurled at me. I never felt unwanted or that my life was threatened. Looking back there was a lot of ‘colorblindness,’ and ‘Oh, Jasmin isn’t really black’ type of talk. Which irked me then, and still does now, but for reasons I can finally articulate. But back then, it was more difficult. I understood that I was an ‘acceptable’ version of a black person, and that’s why my presence was largely welcomed. I could assimilate, code switch, fit in. Now, I’m not necessarily saying that my friends and community didn’t like me for me, I’m just saying that my outward appearance as a light skinned, well-mannered, straight haired black girl made it easier for me to do so.
I realize the privilege I have as a fair skinned black woman. I recognize the privilege I have as a journalist. I understand my responsibility to educate and bring awareness to those around me. I’m aware that I’m still the only black person that some of my white friends and associates know. So it is quite possible that if I do not address the atrocities that are happening to people who look like me, they simply may not ever know, or more heartbreakingly, not ever care. I shouldn’t have to but I capitalize off of my acceptability and favor, in order to bring light to what’s happening in our world. I’m aware that some of my white friends felt personally victimized, or aggressively called out, and that made me understand they weren’t seeing my point. I’ve been around white people my entire life. My godmother is white. My classmates and best friends have been white. Co-workers white. Ex-boyfriends white. I now have a white mother-in-law and sister. I’m not trying to Regina George y’all and slander your name in a burn book, I’m trying to get your attention. This is what I’m trying to get you as a person who happens to be white, to understand:
No, not all white people are racist. but if you insist that you’re not one of them, yet sit by and do nothing as black people are being harassed and murdered, then you too are part of the problem. period.
Here’s the thing, we actually factually live in two different worlds as black and white people in America. Take a look at some of these questions below:
Do you obsessively worry about being pulled over by the police, and if you do get pulled over do you wonder if you’ll make it out alive?
Are you aware of your clothing, posture, hand gestures, and language when you’re out in public?
Do you feel uncomfortable in unfamiliar spaces at any given time?
Do you fear having children, in the sense that you will have to raise them to understand that their lives are a threat to others around them?
Do you worry about your husband, wife, or partner making it back home on a daily basis?
Are you followed in supermarkets and retail shops?
Do non-people of color cross the street, and or clutch their personal belongings when you’re approaching their direction on the street?
Do you get the cops called on you merely for existing and taking up space?
If you answered ‘No’ to any of these questions you’re probably white or not a person of color. Collect your privilege prize below, and thank God you weren’t born with pigmented skin. I’m kidding, there is no prize for this, BUT how crazy is it that just because you were randomly born as yourself, your status in the world was already predetermined? And if you happen to be born white, that means you are automatically granted a privilege based on the color of your skin, regardless of your income, education, gender, etc.
white privilege does not mean that you were born with a silver spoon and a trust fund. it just simply means that you have the societal advantage as being seen as the norm,the standard, acceptable.
People of other races just do not have that advantage, no matter how educated, wealthy, or respected they are. If I still have your attention, and if you aren’t yet offended, please know that recognizing your white privilege is not the same as admitting to be a racist. Most often than not your privilege is unknown and unrecognizable to you, because you’ve just always had it. That makes sense. But you can no longer take it for granted. What I want white people to understand, is that I do not have the same things afforded to me as you. I don’t get to not know that black men and women are out here being killed, wrongfully accused, and arrested for breathing, because that could really be me next. That could really be my husband next. God forbid, that could really be my children next! None of us know what life will throw at us next, but you as a white person, will not have the police called on you for asking a fellow human to put a leash on your dog. Your son probably won’t be shot and killed because his sheer presence made someone ‘fear for their life'.’ It’s bad enough that all of us as Americans will have to send our children off to school with bulletproof backpacks, in the event of an active shooter at their school.
But on top of that, my husband and I, as future black parents to a black child, will have to constantly reiterate to our children that they do not exist as just humans in this world. That to a lot of folks, they are still considered dangerous, or up to no good, or sketchy, or threatening.
So here is what I need you all to understand. If you are not checking your family and friends when you hear racist or prejudice things being said in your presence—that’s a problem. When you become aware of the injustices happening everyday towards black and brown people, yet do nothing—that’s a problem. When you watch these sporting events, and wear your favorite black players jersey, but disregard or condemn the social justice movements they are fighting for off the court or field—THAT’S A PROBLEM. Black people are not here to entertain you. White people cannot continue to wield their power over black folks, because they don’t want them in their space. The civil rights movement did not end once Rosa Parks got arrested. Or when Martin Luther King and Malcolm X were assassinated. It’s not over because white women love Oprah, or because Obama was President.
Please understand that this country was built off the backs of black people, and that we are not looked at as equal citizens in this country. Whether that be in the eyes of the law, politically, or whatever it’s not the case.
So what are you doing to be a force for change? Are you acknowledging and accepting your white PRIVILEGE?Are you educating yourself on being an ally? Are you involved in organizations that support legislative change? do you donate your time and money to causes that support black people?
As I wrap up this article, I’ve just gotten a news alert that Minneapolis Cop Derek Chauvin, has been arrested and charged with the murder of George Floyd. People will find this celebratory, and look at this as a job well done. But the reality is, if you kill someone you should be held accountable, end of story. Yet we still have to celebrate these wins, because far too often when white people kill black people, no one is held accountable. So justice may have been served today, but what about tomorrow, or next week?
There is a lot more work and education that needs to be done to right the wrongs of this country. So I implore you, to get involved, to educate yourself, to talk to your friends and families, to donate your time or money. Use your voice and gather alongside people of color, to finally help this country rid itself of racism and bigotry. Silence is complacency.
To begin doing anti-racism work, and learning about how you can make a difference, visit any of these organizations below:
Bonus read: Glamour UK
